Unbefreakinlievable! This really did feel like the apocalypse. This is the best episode of any television show ever! It even surpasses Alias’ Phase One. That’s a tough one to beat. Everything was exceptional and the ratings rocked. Definitely one for the ages. This is an episode we’ll remember.

          I have never felt so stressed after an episode. I must have lost at least five pounds. Literally. There are so many things going on. I was worried that they couldn’t pull off something good for the post-Super Bowl spot. Was I wrong? They managed to tie suspense in with comedy and make an episode that will be remembered for years to come. I sure will.  So the episode focused on the Code Black. I had never heard of a Code Black. And you know what, it just worked. I was on the edge of my seat just in shock when Alex realized that the shot hadn’t exploded. I forgot about that. Things don’t click in my head. But the story wasn’t farfetched; it wasn’t unbelievable. Grey’s Anatomy makes its stories real. They make the stories human. Mr. Carlson and his moron best friend (I had to do that) reenact WWII. Mr. Carlson shot himself with a bazooka. But it never exploded. Just a perfect story.

          I loved Christina Ricci’s guest star role as Hannah Davis, the paramedic. Did this girl go through a traumatic experience or what? I really don’t blame her for freaking out and pulling her hand out. She was panicking. For one, why did that stupid anesthesiologist Dr. Milton chicken out and leave Hannah do the manual respiration? I’m even surprised she lasted that long. That hand would have been pulled out the second I would have learnt I was touching a bomb. But no one should judge Hannah for what she did. I hope she isn’t blamed for anything.

          Can I for a second pray for Meredith’s safety? She’s obviously going to survive, but I am still in shock. She put her freakin’ hand in Mr. Carlson’s body. She didn’t fall to the floor and she didn’t run out the room; she put her hand in his body. Earlier that morning, she complained that she had some kind of feeling like something bad was going to happen. Meredith, something bad did happen. Don’t listen to Cristina ever again. But I understand why she’s so depressed. Addison has her McDreamy, her McDog and her freakin’ McLife. Meredith is just a depressed McIntern who wants something big to happen in her life. I thing something did happen. Let’s see if she’ll again next time she doesn’t want to go to work.

          The episode was also about the doers and the watchers; Cristina and Meredith are doers and Izzie and George are watchers. Cristina will get up on a bed and push her friend off it. The doers are the ones that are next to the bomb. The watchers are the ones that are in the safe part of the hospital. The watchers are the ones who wish they were next to the bomb. I’m neither.

          Bailey’s son’s birth was the other great part of the episode. If Chandra Wilson doesn’t get nominated for an Emmy award for her performance in this episode, I will make it my life’s mission to track down every single voter. Her husband Tucker Jones was in a car accident on the way to the hospital. Derek has Tucker’s skull open in the OR next to Burke. I don’t think he wants to tell Bailey that her husband is dead. I wouldn’t. But Bailey isn’t Bailey right now. The regular Bailey would not want to go home and postpone the pregnancy until tomorrow. This is not the Bailey we all know and love. For her child’s sake, she better snap out of this.

Dear Diary

Izzie: I’m a watcher. I know I’m a watcher. Cristina and Meredith are up there with the stupid bomb and I’m safe outside of the OR hoping I’m in there. So, because of that, I ran to Alex and dragged him to some supply room and just had sex. I hadn’t had sex for 8 months and twelve days. Yes, it’s that sad. So it’s time I get over syph nurse. I just needed some damn sex. It’s time I become a doer. This was my first act as a doer. I took Alex and had sex. Sorry, I just love saying that word. So from this point on, I’m a doer. I’m no longer a watcher. I have to go find Alex again.

Alex: So I just did it with Izzie. God was that good. I’m telling you, with all the craziness today, I really needed that. It’s like the freakin’ apocalypse today. Some psycho woman comes in screaming. She didn’t shut up. Her husband and her boyfriend reenacted WWII, actually making a bazooka. They made a freakin’ bazooka. So the husband shoots himself accidentally. But it never goes off. So the bomb is still in the guy’s body. A paramedic shows up with her hand in his body. She didn’t know it yet, but the bomb was still inside. I don’t know what’s going on now. Bailey is also back and she hasn’t missed a beat. The second she comes back, she starts yelling at us telling us that she’s received complaints from out previous residents who have run away scared. We’re in for it when she comes back for good.

Today’s Baileyisms

-          “I’ve been gone for two weeks. Two weeks and you ran off two residents? I’ve got people phoning me at home, screaming, telling me my interns are Rosemary’s Babies. Nobody wants you! Do you think I have time for this? I am pregnant. I’m supposed to be on bed rest. I’m supposed to be growing a human being. I’m supposed to be calm. Do I look calm to you? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?”

-          Bailey: “A boy the size of a 10 lb bowling ball is trying to work it’s way out of my body. Can you get me something for that. Can you get me a new vagina?”

Quotable Quotes

-          Meredith: “OK. The man I love has a wife and then he chooses her over me. And that wife takes my dog—OK, she didn’t take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn’t mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him—but that does not change the fact that she’s got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She’s got my McLife!” Yes she does.

-          Cristina: “Which surgeon are we going to have to suck up to today?”

Bailey: “That would be me.”

-          Addison: “A gathering of men outside a delivery room. How mid-century of you.”

-          Derek: “Bailey’s back? And her cervix is being examined by my wife, which is a visual I will never get out of my head. Thanks for the warning.”

-          Bailey: “Fine. Go away. I don’t want to see any of you until after the baby is born, which, if he stays on schedule and does like I told him to, should be in about four and a half hours.” God forbid she asks for any help.

-          Addison: “Hey Preston.”

Burke: “Good to see you, Addison!”

Derek: “She gets to call you by your first name and I don’t?”

Burke: “I like her.”

Derek: “And you don't like me?”

Burke: “No.”

-          Tucker: “You’re...Shepherd, right? Miranda...she really likes you.” Derek felt so proud when he heard that.

Mrs. Carlson: “So my idiot husband goes and stands in front of his ‘big gun’ to see what went wrong. That’s when the stupid toy starts working.”

-          Bailey: “I could do this at home with a pair of scissors and a bucket of hot water.”

George: “You know, millions of women die every year from delivering their own babies. (Bailey and Addison stare) I did NOT just say that out loud...”

-          Izzie: “Is it wrong that we’re jealous? It’s alright to be jealous, right?”

George: “The fact that we’re jealous because they both might die is not a reflection of our character. It’s about feeling useless.

Izzie: “Ineffectual.”

-          Izzie: “Take off your pants.”

Alex: “Izzie, what are you doing?”

Izzie: “I’m being a doer. Getting while the getting’s good. Now take off your pants.”

Alex: “You realize when I said the apocalypse before, I meant it metaphorically, not literally.”

Izzie: “Alex, I haven’t had sex in eight months and twelve days. I’m horny, I’m half-naked, and I’m saying yes. Do you want to stand there and talk metaphors, or do you want to literally take off your pants?”

-          Bomb Squad Guy: “The chief of surgery has authorized me to evacuate everyone on this floor.”

Derek: “The Chief of Surgery doesn't scare me. Dr. Bailey scares me. I’m not going to be the one to let her husband die, which is what would happen if I put his skull flap on, in this condition. Bomb or no bomb. Now get out of my OR.”

Some Final Notes

-          The shower scene was the best. Not only did we get a steamy threesome in the shower, I got a kick out of watching them compliment George. Anything to attract the Super Bowl guys.

-          Cristina came in and kicked Meredith out of bed. This girl is hardcore.

-          Dr. Webber says a quiet board is bad news. He got angry when the doctors keep bringing it up.

-          Shepherd wants him and Burke to call each other by their first names. Burke doesn’t want to. He calls Addison by her first time. He liked her though.

-          Bailey’s return to the hospital was all I could have wished for.

-          Dr. Webber was ecstatic when he saw Bailey. He can’t function without her. Of course, he had to see her cervix before he sees her face.

-          George hugged Bailey when she came back. He had such a grin on his face.

-          Mrs. Carlson screaming was hysterical. I laughed even more when she yelled at her husband’s best friend.

-          This was Hannah Davis’ second week on the job.

-          The gun Mr. Carlson built is the M9A1 Bazooka.

-          The bomb squad is in the hospiatl now. Let’s see what’s they’re going to do.

-          Meredith refused to leave Burke. She also tried calming Hannah down. What else should she have done? This is the opportunity of her life.

-          I can’t believe Dr. Milton. He just left Hannah by herself. What a pig.

-          Izzie hasn’t had sex in 8 months and 12 days. That’s typical Izzie to remember and keep track of such a thing.

-          Dr. Milton says the bomb squad calls bomb victims “pink mist.”

-          Meredith whispers, “what did I do, what did I do, what did I do.” What did you do?

6 stars. It was that good.

-          Next episode

-          Grey’s Anatomy season 2

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